Listen to Robin Williams life witness
Showing posts with label how to be happy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to be happy. Show all posts
Thursday, 23 March 2017
Tuesday, 21 March 2017
I Stopped Worrying, Then Happiness Showed Up
The formula for happiness is simple, right? Do things that make you happy, avoid negative thoughts and stress, and voila! Happiness appears like a beam from within and shines all around.
But that’s not at all how it happens. You know and I know it doesn’t work like that. And today, on the International Day of Happiness, the world is talking about how it does. How people, like you and me, can create more happiness in the world around us. And it starts with you.
Happiness works much like love, in mysterious ways. However, science and psychology tell us that brain chemistry alters emotion. But in order to activate those chemicals, we have to talk about habits first.
There is a formula to happiness, and it lies in changing thought patterns. Your patterns—what you do and think and say every day—determine how happy you are. It’s got nothing to do with what’s around you, but everything to do with how your brain works—that inner voice. Happiness is not within your grasp because it is, quite literally, within you.
Happiness: Arrivals & Departures
Happiness does not happen overnight. Duh, you know that, right? You don’t strike a yoga pose or two, meditate for a month or a year, write mantras on post-it notes all over your home, and poof, happiness arrives and is knocking on your front door. There is no doorbell-ringing happiness. Happiness is silence; it is stillness. But it’s hard to be so quiet and motionless with the world whirling around us and inside of us.
We live in the real world where the unexpected is probable and real things happen. Things like extra stressful workdays, fights with our partners, misunderstandings with friends and family, bad thoughts, negative body image days, everything goes wrong days, insomniac nights, self-doubt, worry and the like. It’s all a part of life. And for many of us, it’s the part that messes with our ability to find blissful states.
My Truth
I have lived in a world much like that one. But of all those sensations, it was worry that pushed me over the edge. Am I doing this right? When will I? How can I? What if?
The truth is, I was forever in states of disarray—balancing on balls that no longer wanted to support me, balancing on a scale that said I was too fat, balancing on a line that wanted to see me fall. And I didn’t realize life presented transitions to teach me about me, to assist in the evolution of self.
The prospect of seeing the blessing in a mistake didn’t occur to me; I continued to make them and break them and beat them down and fight them and run away from them until I was too tired to run anymore and had to sit down. And at the end of the day, I blamed myself. I was disappointed in myself, and on some days, I even hated myself.
The truth is I tried to keep myself too busy to notice those feelings. The negative stuff got under-the-rug or in-the-closet treatment; I trudged forward despite and in spite of. The busier I was, the less likely I was to notice that happiness didn’t dwell inside me, but rather it was something I thought could be bought or constructed.
I kept myself busy because I was unhappy, and I was unhappy because I was too busy to notice.
Time Will Tell
Busy is the life that most of us are all about. We are obsessed with time. Every second is accounted for; every moment is a chance to do something, anything. Don’t stop moving and don’t slow down. Just keep going, keep pushing, harder, faster. Time’s a-ticking.
But because we’re so busy being busy, we don’t have time for much of what we love or like, and we rarely, if ever, have time for self-care.
We fall in and out of habits so quickly because we don’t always dedicate time to self—to things that are worthy, that foster happiness, things that burgeon happiness into a forest of self-love. Why can’t we stick to those positive habits that are tough at first, but ultimately have life-changing and life-affirming results? Why are we likely to stick to habits that make us feel like crap rather than the ones that lead to happiness?
This sounds like self-sabotage. But it also sounds like impatience.
Patience Is a Virtue
However, the enigma isn’t so enigmatic—we are a society full of instant everything. If whatever we desire doesn’t happen immediately, we don’t want it. Or maybe we want it, but we don’t want to wait for it, put in the effort, enjoy the process to reap the benefits. We want it now, dammit. We want it now! We. Want. It. Now.
Look at how we live, from the convenience of food, entertainment and quick-fix promises sold with the intention of giving you a flatter stomach, a wrinkle-free face, more room in your closet, flawless eyebrows and slimmer thighs. Without any effort, we have everything our hearts want and desire, and then some. Most of the stuff, we don’t even want. Look around your home, look at your life. Is it the life your dreams are made of? Or is it one that was sold to you?
Take the time to observe what’s around you. Is it what makes you happy? If not, how can you change it? If it doesn’t serve a purpose or make you feel all the feels, get rid of it. You do not have time for filling up space around you while your interior stays empty. Fill the inside, have experiences, feel.
Take the time to consider your activities. Do you do things that bring you joy? If not, why not? And why do you dedicate time to things that make you miserable? Integrity matters here.
Take the time to be still. Ask yourself some serious questions about what you want out of life and who you want to be. If you don’t look within, happiness will only be a mirage, a production of cinematographic proportions. Be mindful of what it is you long for and be honest about it. Reflection must be included in the process, period—there’s no way around it.
The Sound of Happiness
When I slowed down, things changed. I asked myself hard questions, and I let time give me the answers.
I didn’t pressure myself, not like I used to anyway. I sat still and listened to myself breathe and listened to others breathe and listened to the universe breathing, as if in unison with us all. Because that is what the universe does, it breathes with us and it gives us breath.
When I sat still, I could hear what I needed to hear. I started to really notice things. I became a non-robot. I became human again.
When I sat still, I could hear what I needed to hear. I started to really notice things. I became a non-robot. I became human again. And I was both afraid and amused. I finally realized that this was living.
Are you willing to be still, too? To be mindful? Are you willing to face the silence and hear happiness whisper all sorts of secrets in your ear? Be ready, or get ready, because those secrets can help you maintain your true self and push your levels of happiness higher than you ever thought possible.
Trust me, you want to sit still. You want to be quiet. Because when you slow down and sit still and listen, you can begin to feel happiness.
Sunday, 22 January 2017
17 Quotes to Help You Find Your Happiness
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.'
Happiness is an subjective word. For some, happiness is the achievement of professional goals and earning a paycheck. For others, it's the simple pleasure of a warm cup of a coffee on a cool morning. But to find happiness, whatever it is, we first need to define what in our lives makes us happiest—and then reach out and embrace those things, those moments.
Want to find your happiness? Start with these thought-full quotes:
“Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn’t stop to enjoy it.”
—William Feather
“It’s not how much we have, but how much we enjoy that makes happiness."
—Charles Spurgeon
“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is not determined by our circumstance, but by our disposition.”
—Martha Washington
“Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.”
—Mahatma Gandhi
“If you want to be happy, be."
—Leo Tolstoy
“Try to make at least one person happy every day. If you cannot do a kind deed, speak a kind word. If you cannot speak a kind word, think a kind thought. Count up, if you can, the treasure of happiness that you would dispense in a week, in a year, in a lifetime.”
—Lawrence G. Lovaski
“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.”
—Groucho Marx
“You can be happy where you are.”
—Joel Osteen
“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.”
—Franklin D. Roosevelt
“Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear or feel it when it comes to us. Let’s not be afraid to receive each day’s surprise, whether it come to us as sorrow or as joy, it will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity.”
—Henri Nouwen
“The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.”
—Christopher McCandless
“Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment.”
—Tony Robbins
“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”
—Norman Vincent Peale
“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.”
—Omar Khayyam
“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”
—Albert Camus
“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.”
—Anne Frank
“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better to take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.”
—Carl Jung
Tuesday, 10 January 2017
28 Uncommon Rules to Live By, From a Space Tech Billionaire
Brought to you by the SUCCESS Academy digital learning course Xponential Advantage: Hacking Your Mindset to Get What You Want by Peter Diamandis.
Over the years, I have collected, borrowed, adjusted and dreamed up a series of laws—principles and truisms that have guided me in times of difficulty and opportunity. Most of these are my fundamental rules to live by, my go-to principles when things become unclear or difficult.
They may work for you, or they may not.
I encourage you to borrow, steal, tweak and explore—just as I have done—to create your own set of guiding principles. To build for yourself an “Operators Manual” for when difficulty strikes (because it will) and your path forward seems unclear.
These are my laws...
The Persistent and Passionate Mind
1. If anything can go wrong, fix it! To hell with Murphy!
2. When given a choice… take both.
3. Multiple projects lead to multiple successes.
4. Start at the top and work your way up.
5. Do it by the book… but be the author.
6. When forced to compromise, ask for more.
7. If you can’t win, change the rules.
8. If you can’t change the rules, then ignore them.
9. Perfection is not optional.
10. When faced with a challenge, make one.
11. “No” simply means begin again at one level higher.
12. Don’t walk when you can run.
13. When in doubt, THINK!
14. Patience is a virtue, but persistence to the point of success is a blessing.
15. The squeaky wheel gets replaced.
16. The faster you move, the slower time passes, the longer you live.
17. The best way to predict the future is to create it yourself.
18. The ratio of something to nothing is infinite.
19. You get what you incentivize.
20. If you think it is impossible, then it is… for you.
21. An expert is someone who can tell you exactly how it can be done.
22. The day before something is a breakthrough it’s a crazy idea.
23. If it were easy it would’ve been done already.
24. Without a target, you’ll miss it every time.
25. Fail early, fail often, fail forward!
26. If you can’t measure it, you can’t improve it.
27. The world’s most precious resource is the persistent and passionate human mind.
28. Bureaucracy is an obstacle to be conquered with persistence, confidence and a bulldozer when necessary.
Thursday, 1 December 2016
WHY GRATITUDE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN HITTING YOUR GOALS
When I asked successful business and thought leaders how they prepared to reach their goals in the upcoming year, several said gratitude gave them an edge.
Some mentioned setting aside special time to reflect and express gratitude for all the positive they experienced. This close to Thanksgiving, that seems perfect this time of year. But why stop there?
Jon Gordon told me practicing gratitude one day a year isn’t enough. “If you do it daily,” he said, “you’ll notice incredible benefits and major life change.” The science backs him up.
One of the challenges in reaching our long-term goals is getting derailed by short-term gains. These are decisions that look good in the moment—instant gratification usually does. But they actually prevent us from making progress or even set us back.
See if you recognize any of these:
- The impulse buy that dings your savings goal.
- The skipped workout routines that plateau your weight loss.
- The late night at work that keeps you from your child’s school recital.
We get the short-term win from the purchase, the rest, and the project completion. But we lose the long-term payoffs that only come from reaching our goals: financial security, physical health, and lasting connection with our kids.
It’s true for all kinds of goals. What Jon and many others realize is that gratitude is the difference maker.
Why? There are at least three reasons gratitude can help you stay the course and reach your goals:
- Gratitude keeps you going. In one study researchers Robert A. Emmons and Anjali Mishra had students list goals they hoped to reach over a two month period. Ten weeks later they checked back and found the grateful students were closer than others in the study to reaching their goals.Emmons and Mishra said there’s a prevailing (but unproven) idea out there that gratitude can leave people feeling complacent. If I’ve got enough, then maybe I don’t need to achieve more. Instead, they determined, “gratitude enhances effortful goal striving.”
- Gratitude improves your patience. A lot of times we take the easy out because we’re impatient. Achieving big goals takes time and effort. Thankfully, gratitude can keep you in the game.David DeSteno of Northwestern University led a study where participants were asked to recall an event that made them feel grateful, happy, or neutral. After writing about it, they reported their mood and then made a series of financial decisions.If they wanted, they could take a cash reward at the end of the session or receive a larger amount by check in the mail at a later date. The grateful were happy to wait for the bigger payout. “On average, we increased people’s financial patience by about 12 percent,” said DeSteno. “[I]magine if you could increase people’s savings by that much.”
- Gratitude lowers your stress. People fall for instant gratification because indulgence and avoidance are both attractive ways of coping with stress. But we all know they’re not effective in the long run, and we’ve got the bills and ill-fitting clothes to prove it.It turns out gratitude is a far more effective way to cope with stress. Maybe not on Thanksgiving Day itself! But after looking at several different studies, Emmons and Mishra conclude, “[T]he evidence strongly supports the supposition that gratitude promotes adaptive coping and personal growth.
Instant gratification looks good in the moment, but can actually prevent us from making progress or even set us back. - Michael Hyatt
I love asking successful people what they do to succeed. When they’re answers overlap with each other it’s like building a list of best practices. When the science backs them up, we’d have to be foolish not to listen.
Question: What were your five biggest wins or blessings from 2016 (so far!)? Leave a comment :)
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